Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
Houston, we have a blender
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
dude kate found out i cheated and busted in while i was taking a shit. I was cornered, nothing i could do
so drinking tonight?
Be there in 15
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
