I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
Positive reinforcement! I'm training him for being a good boy and coming over. He gets sex and cookies.
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
Randomize
