Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
he just referred to himself as the billy mays of his frat.. heres how to order
I have no idea who these bands are he's listening to. If his current playlist was a pandora station, however, it would be titled "music for closet cock gobblers"
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I know I don't have feelings for him because I feel completely ashamed every time after we have sex
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
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