She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Mistake of the day: loudly discussing my gay hookups on the phone at the dmv in upstate NY... this must be what leprosy feels like
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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