Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
i just masturbated in footie pajamas. there's no judgement here.
Picking up hoes with my dad is going to make it a little harder, but ay, if thats how he wants to bond after 23 years, Ill give it a shot
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Well as if this year didn't suck enough already, I can now count 2015 as the year I got chlamydia
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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