I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
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