it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
I distinctly remember holding up a piece of ham pizza and screaming: "WHO THE FUCK EATS HAM PIZZA" in the face of a bunch of scared 13 year old girls faces, while my own sister laughed in mine.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize
