You don't have asthma, your pregnant
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
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