READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
Side note: I just realized that I can make my hand warmers double as a heated push up bra.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
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