Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
The doctor put me on 3000 mg of amoxicillin a day. Which, for a sinus infection, seems pretty excessive to me.
Maybe he was just trying to knock out any potential ghonorrhea you might be carrying around.
Ah, my reputation precedes me.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
I woke up with a twisted ankle and was covered in lube. Not entirely sure what happened last night
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
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