When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
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