I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
Get off the floor, put away the cookie dough, get ur shit together Scott.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Randomize
