nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
It happened again.
What?
I lost in a drinking contest with my 84 year old grandmother. Two years in a row now.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
