I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
every time someone would wish me happy birthday I would be like "thanks happy birthday to you too"
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
Randomize
