Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Just threw up in nordstroms while shopping for moms bday with dad. He distracted workers for me. No more tequila
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
