you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
If I saw Perez Hilton naked I think I would stick a lit candle down my throat.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
