Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
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Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
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