and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
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