You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
where are my pants?
in the oven.
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
