Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Just found my car keys in your throw-up.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
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