Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
So puking trix and chicken wings is horrible but atleast we got free drinks for taking the trash out at the bar we are really movin up in the world
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
Randomize
