Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
His mom took away his car and made him quit his job.
HE'S 26!!!
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
