It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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