"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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