She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
We had sex with a sexual harassment video playing in the background before his gf got there. I've hit a new low
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
Randomize
