smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize