do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
