Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
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