i barfeds in our rink
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
She's making her own pesto again. Cooking spaghetti in the microwave and "frying" vegetables in the toaster oven. All this while wearing the yellow rubber gloves and saying that the pesto has feelings like a real person. Im terrified.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Our halfway to Halloween party needs to never happen again. There were waaayy too many wasted cartoon characters passed out in my living room this morning...
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
Just pure bliss will emerge from Charles, my tranny bong.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
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