idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
It was like we had a conversation with our eyes.
Was it a good conversation?
It was an awkward, sexual conversation.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
Randomize
