she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
They found an open window, climbed through and proceeded to arrest half the party. These campus cops are like fucking ninjas.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
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