he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
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I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
at some point i feel off my bar stool straight into the arms of a gay guy. just my luck.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
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He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
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