Whoa Z and x make the same sound
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
I hate when you actually try to sing and people think you're joking so you just go with it, but on the inside you're crying.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
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