Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Eating a TV dinner and watching Goosebumps on Netflix, the sad, sad title of my autobiography.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
