I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I'm still drunk. I put on workout clothes this morning and just puked in my bathroom. That's the same as going to the gym, right?
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
They were arguing about who would hit the piñata first so naturally you tore it open with your hands. You broke the piñata and their hearts.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Randomize
