Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
You what they say. One dick in the hand is better than two in the bush
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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