You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
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