I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
