I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
eating a weed cupcake with nutella on top at work. i AM a star!
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
