I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
I don't remember much of last night. But I woke up with very apologetic texts from him this morning so apparently I didn't get laid. Which is stupid.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.