i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Just write off about 10000+ brain cells and 6 months of your lifespan.
Sounds like a normal friday night
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.