Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
25 People Confess The Biggest Betrayal They Have Ever Faced
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
i'm gonna fuck his crew, i'm gonna wax my asshole. i'm gonna make them all cry tears of sex joy then move to colorado.
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Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem