I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns.
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
