Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (480): View more from Arizona

  This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (480): This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner. http://tfl.nu/bzec
  Replies (9) Good night (3870) Bad night (722) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (608): The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer. http://tfl.nu/u1k3
  Replies (17) Good night (9438) Bad night (1147)
• Favorite

  (517): View more from Michigan

  drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (517): drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea http://tfl.nu/z8sz
  Replies (29) Good night (3629) Bad night (1663) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (330): View more from Ohio

  He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (330): He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating http://tfl.nu/fig2
  Replies (7) Good night (2590) Bad night (2255) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (843): View more from South Carolina

  I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (843): I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower. http://tfl.nu/3pc6
  Replies (15) Good night (4344) Bad night (1735) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (804): View more from Virginia

  What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (804): What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language. http://tfl.nu/0hum
  Replies (3) Good night (2567) Bad night (495) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (615): View more from Tennessee

  other than the jail part I had a really good time with you

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (615): other than the jail part I had a really good time with you http://tfl.nu/dcut
  Replies (3) Good night (1627) Bad night (429) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (859): View more from Kentucky

  well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (859): well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS http://tfl.nu/hivl
  Replies (4) Good night (1154) Bad night (394) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (+44): I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom. http://tfl.nu/4b20
  Replies (7) Good night (472) Bad night (1338) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (719): View more from Colorado

  we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (719): we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here http://tfl.nu/nyi7
  Replies (8) Good night (976) Bad night (335) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (248): When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle? http://tfl.nu/70g5
  Replies (7) Good night (953) Bad night (419) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (614): View more from Ohio

  her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (614): her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed" http://tfl.nu/kvl0
  Replies (2) Good night (941) Bad night (343) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (616): View more from Michigan

  be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (616): be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra http://tfl.nu/3wvg
  Replies (4) Good night (424) Bad night (292) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (907): View more from Alaska

  I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (907): I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st! http://tfl.nu/87p8
  Replies (2) Good night (470) Bad night (159) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (720): View more from Colorado

  This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (720): This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow http://tfl.nu/n4ws
  Replies (2) Good night (355) Bad night (198)

Randomize