He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Randomize
