You guys coming?
We are smoking out the bouncer? But after that sure
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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