I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
i woke up to find out i googled the Twilight Eclipse trailer. so either drunk me doesn't know that i'm straight, or sober me doesn't know that i'm gay
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
We had sex under a tree in his boss's backyard, then I hooked up with his best friend. I don't even care how I got home.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
did you just try to prove your straightness by quoting a lady gaga song?
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
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