it was like eating out sand paper
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
There is a high pitched squealing noise coming from somewhere in my house. I hope it's a gas leak cause I'm over this week man.
Honestly no idea how dad figured out i did all that gay porn unless he was looking at gay porn.
Just fell out of the attic onto the garage floor. Okay but might go for an x ray. Smashed one of the kitchen drawers to bits.
Holy Shit Mom
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Randomize
