do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
My underwear smells like fireworks.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
I want someone to please me without me having to show him steps 1 through 5
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
Randomize
