made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Cut a hole in the crotch of my onesie so we could have sex without me getting cold. Best decision of my life.
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Randomize
