I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
When he opened the car door the whole thing fell off. Even that can be forgiven via his monster cock.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
Literally sitting on my bed in the dark trying not to throw up
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I feel better now, I have multiple fuck buddies again
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Pretty sure the waitress here is concerned about well being bc I've been here drinking by myself for 3 hours. If only I could show here FB so she'd know I'm not alone...
Randomize
