I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
He motorboated me, gave me a business card that said congratulations on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
