I puked in a mailbox on the way back from your house.
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
