I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
Is it weird that I found myself thinking of that blue chick from Avatar while she gave me head after the movie?
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we were so high last night we were cutting bread with my iphone
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
She's licking the vodka she spilled off the desk
Aaaaand now she's drinking it out of the shot glass like a cat
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize