dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
He told me they were just razor bumps!
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
