And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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