I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
i haven't been laid since the bush administration. it's frustrating.
Some advice for success: 1) Go ugly early, it saves you time and money; 2) If you can't pork a princess, pound a pig for practice; and 3) Beauty is only a light switch away.
ur like the dr phil of bizarro world.
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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