I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Never underestimate the power of titties
Randomize
