the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
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