Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
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