Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
If you can't accept "I'm sorry I was mean to you" bjs from 19 year old girls, then who can you
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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