the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
found scuba porn. totally not sexy. life continues to disappoint.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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