Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
his semen tasted like maple syrup. no wonder fat girls always wanna fuck him.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
help. his tongue is stuck. Its not what you think. Hurry.
I miss the pre Covid days when we could meet men in bars. Hitting on guys in the grocery store is just depressing
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