when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
Maid of honor screwed up the joke so I just got to explain what a strap on is and why a married lady might want one to Grandma and my brother's wedding shower.
Randomize
