I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
