guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
The struggles of a small town man whore
I think I just got drunk texted by my psychiatrist
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
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